‘Tis the Season?

Wouldn’t you know it? For weeks now, I’ve been wondering why I’ve been so sluggish as to avoid rolling out of bed before 10:00 a.m. Granted, there have been more than a few late nights (or very early mornings, depending on your perspective)…but in the past, that’s never been much of a special hindrance. And the beautiful weather this morning suddenly made me realize: I’ve been hibernating!

Or at least, I’ve been trying to hibernate. Or channeling my inner mammalian reptile. This might not seem so profound a realization, until one realizes that generally, even in cold weather, in the past I had only as much trouble waking up as the next sluggish man or woman. Perhaps this is not true; perhaps this is just a mistaken perception. What is obvious, though, is that this is the first time in memory I’ve made a conscious reasoning-through of the facts.

March 19, 2009: A tree in bloom next to the school I live across from in Daegu; note the old man peering through the fence at the children playing in the schoolyard. (Click to enlarge)

I can’t ever recall realizing how much I enjoy waking up early in warmer weather, before now. I’ve never looked at a calendar or weather forecast and thought, “Gee, I’ll start waking up earlier – to enjoy the morning – on this date,” or “I’ll start waking up earlier when the weather gets to such-and-such a temperature.” And yet, I feel kind of stupid for only realizing now this particular trait of mine – this no doubt natural, instinctual, human trait.

Being a native of southern Arizona, I guess I took it for granted – my “natural environment” being warmer climes, that is. I have, after all, since July 2004 lived in cities and regions of the world – notably, Jerusalem, Israel, New York, and Daegu, South Korea – with climates that are at times far different from what is the norm in my native habitat. By different, of course, I mean much, much colder in winter than southern Arizona normally gets…and maybe I’m finally coming to terms with the changes wrought.

March 19, 2009: I spotted this on my way to get breakfast, around 9:30 a.m. (Click to enlarge)

This morning, I woke at 9:00 a.m. – that’s late for some people, but when you consider I awoke yesterday at half past noon, it’s early for me. I had set an alarm, so there wasn’t anything particularly “natural” about this event…except for the fact that I’ve been setting an alarm for weeks now – yesterday, too – and almost gleefully been turning it off ( avoiding snooze, or sleeping through snooze) in the interest of further slumber.

Immediately, I debated with myself regarding whether or not to walk a certain distance for breakfast. I decided to play it by ear and Mother Nature, slipped on jeans, a t-shirt and my now almost-ubiquitous blue pullover, and set out into the world…with my camera in-pocket, because I’d seen out my window that a tree astride the school I reside across from was in bloom, and I thought it’d make for a nice picture to send home to the folks…

March 19, 2009: A little bit of color next to the Parking lot sign... (Click to enlarge)

As soon as I stepped out of my building, I knew it would be a good day – a warm touch to the air, a light breeze, the Sun shining brightly; I could feel Spring in the air, and it brought a spring to my step. Today, in general, at work and on my own time, I had more energy. Slowly but surely, the truth started to dawn in my head as to why. Thoughts swirled, coalesced….about the change of a sort I can undeniably believe in…both in the air, and in myself.

And so it was that on the morning of March 19, 2009, I wrote most of this in a Starbucks in downtown Daegu, South Korea…on my iPod Touch notepad…and in the process, got to know myself a little better.

March 19, 2009: After breakfast (around 11:30 a.m., despite what the clock says), back at the school across from where I live...more evidence of Spring. (Click to enlarge)

Separating the Wheat from the Chaff

The Confederate States of America got a lot wrong during their short existence and bid at independence, but a clause in their Constitution – mostly modeled upon that Constitution which ostensibly U.S. president Abraham Lincoln prosecuted the Civil War to uphold – is one of the things they got right. Of course, the provision I speak of in the Confederate States’ Constitution is usually lost amidst all the language contained therein in reference to slavery, and indeed it is the slavery aspect of the CSA that most people in America and throughout the world are commonly familiar with. But in light of recent events, most notably the passage of appropriations bills in the Congress laden with thousands of earmarks, Article I, Sec. 9-20 of the C.S. Constitution is worth another look.

Actually, it’s worth noting that currently, the State Constitution of South Carolina keeps this provision alive today, in almost the exact language used by the Southern Confederacy: “Every Act or resolution having the force of law shall relate to but one subject, and that shall be expressed in the title.” The Constitution of my home State of Arizona, too, codified this idea: “Every act shall embrace but one subject and matters properly connected therewith, which subject shall be expressed in the title; but if any subject shall be embraced in an act which shall not be expressed in the title, such act shall be void only as to so much thereof as shall not be embraced in the title.” In fact, of the Union’s fifty States, only nine don’t have similarly-stated constitutional provisions.

One might make the case that in today’s expanded American Republic, a vast Union reaching from sea to shining sea and beyond, populated by over 300 million people who are themselves split into numerous and often competing constituencies, an Amendment to the Constitution of the United States echoing the language of the Constitution of the Confederate States would be impractical. Then again, were such an Amendment to be proposed in and passed by the Congress, and then subsequently submitted to the States for their consideration, one would think – given the language contained in 41 of 50 State Constitutions – that it would be assured of ratification. It’s certainly worthier of deliberation than any flag burning or gay marriage amendment.

When it comes to Secession, the Confederate States’ Constitution was no more tolerant of the idea than the Supreme Court, in Texas v. White, claimed the U.S. Constitution is (or isn’t). When it comes to slavery, the C.S. Constitution was dead wrong. And pardon my use of metaphor, but at times it seems the Illiberal Left’s favorite “whipping boy” is the South and Southern history, and the very idea of incorporating language from the Constitution of The Confederate States of America might seem laughable given who is currently in the White House. Even so, despite its faults and the faults of those who drafted the Rebel Confederacy’s Constitution, few today should find fault with the idea of being able to hold politicians to account once the following words are added to the Supreme Law of our Land:

“Every law, or resolution having the force of law, shall relate to but one subject, and that shall be expressed in the title.”

On Differences of Opinion

The following is an actual e-mail I sent earlier today (“today”, meaning “February 5, 2009” in Korea). If you’re interested in seeing what sparked it, and are on Facebook, check out my profile and see the comments regarding a posted item, “Jonathan Kay: Iraqi democracy is Bush’s true legacy”.

*******

“You know what Jeremy? I don’t think I can stomach any more of your hateful rhetoric. You’re a racist, anti-Muslim, and anti-American. I’m going to be de-friending you as soon as I post this.”

– Geoffrey Korol’s final entry in a debate on Facebook about a posted item

******

Geoff,

Did you actually read anything of what I said? Hateful rhetoric, Geoff? I am insulted at the accusation. Did you actually read the item I posted? Because, let’s be honest, I don’t think you did. You didn’t read the National Post article, you only responded to what I wrote. If you had read that article, you would understand A) Why I posted it and B) How wrong you are.

How am I racist? Do I call out “Death to Arabs”? Geoff, you know what? You’re an idiot – and I say that with all the respect I can muster at this moment, which isn’t much, because I think you’re pretty darn petty. Nowhere, not once in my postings, did I call for Arabs to be killed. I merely said, as I stated in the postings, that I don’t have to cry for all of them when they die. I even noted that I regret their deaths from a humanitarian standpoint. But never did I call for the mass slaughter of Arabs.

You attribute to me an attribute I have not, for reasons I know not. Character assassination? I don’t know why you would want to do that to me. I don’t know how I could have earned your hatred, because any reasonable person would actually read what I’ve written instead of responding to snippets or spinning what I actually wrote into words I’ve never written.

And seriously, how petty are you? Again, it is with all the respect for you I can muster: How pathetic is it than in a moment of anger, which is nothing more than anger that my opinion differs from yours, you delete me – thus attempting to cut contact – over Facebook postings? I used to think you were pretty smart, but I’ve more evidence to the contrary, now.

And where do you get off calling me anti-American? That’s really out of left field, and is the most egregious, inaccurate, insulting charge ever laid out against me. Forgive me, but I always thought that sharing my opinion is as American as it gets. DE-FRIENDING someone on Facebook who was an actual friend in high school because of his opinion amounts to…well, it’s not persecution, but it’s certainly not a celebration of diverse opinions, which is quite American.

So think about it, Geoff:

Who is anti-American: The one who would delete a Facebook (and real-life) friend because of his opinions (we’re talking about you) or the one who loves vigorous debate (me), even if – especially if – those with whom he is debating disagrees sharply with him?

Two things, Geoff:
*
First, this quote. It’s one of my favorites, by William F. Buckley, Jr.: “Liberals claim to want to give a hearing to other views, but then are shocked and offended to discover that there are other views.”
*
And second, this response from a friend of mine to my status this morning:

Yasser Kassana at 4:50am February 5 via Facebook Mobile

Inhuman is strong. I’m no fan of liberals or socialists and the like. I also know that me and you are opposing in every way. But why can’t people just talk peacefully. The problem is Avram that liberals don’t understand the other side. I understand and empathise but I will not agree with you.

My status update that Yasser was responding to was: Jeremy wonders why, when he thinks others are merely “wrong”, THEY go so far as to call him “inhuman,” or imply that he’s evil. Illiberal “liberals” need chill pills.

*

Geoff, I don’t know why you think of me the way you do, but you are absolutely wrong to do so. I don’t suspect, for a moment, that anything I wrote here will have any effect on you whatsoever. It won’t make you change your mind, which is why I haven’t tried to do such a thing. I know such an effort would be futile, because I happen to think, now, that you are as narrow-minded as you accuse me of being. Only a narrow-minded person – or a simple-minded nitwit – would jump to conclusions as you have.

Only a narrow-minded person would go so far as to sever the re-kindled links of friendship over what was said and spun in postings on a web site. Only a narrow-minded person, such as yourself, would seek to end a friendship because of a disagreement in opinion (which is what all this amounts to). Only a narrow-minded person would assume I’m anti-Muslim, especially given the fact that I own a couple copies of the Qu’ran, and have lived around Muslims longer than you have. That’s an assumption, yes, but I would like to know how many mosques you’ve visited.

And, Geoff, let’s get back to the unforgivable part: Only a narrow-minded, conniving person would stoop to calling me “anti-American” without any supporting evidence. I’m not sure what’s pro-American to you, but to me, the right to speak one’s mind out – without persecution – is as American as it gets. When I spent 3 months in 2007 living in the DC area, I visited the National Archives 2-3 times a week, just to see again what I’d already seen many, many times before: The Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, the Bill of Rights…

I don’t pick and choose the moments I’m patriotic, Geoff, as I suspect you do. I love my country 24/7, 365 (or, “24/7, 366” on the occasion of a leap year). I acknowledge its faults, and its mistakes. I criticize my country and my Government when I feel both are deserving of admonishment. How you, with the evidence pointing to you being a fair-weather patriot despite your service, can come up with the charge that I’m anti-American is a mystery to me.

Should you ever unclench your fist, Geoff, you will not find I’m inclined to shake it. You were an actual friend, a real-life friend. No more, and not because you Facebook de-friended me. You made narrow-minded assumptions about me, and you jumped to conclusions, and you publicly charged me with being things that I’m not. Then, you didn’t give me a chance to respond to your libels. That’s about as low as you can go in my book; you calling me “inhuman” I was willing to overlook.

Then you went too far.

Just in case you’re tempted to twist my words into something they aren’t, I’m think I’m going to post this online – which I have the right to do, free speech and all – as a sort of “open letter” opinion piece on my blog. Not because I want your friendship back. But because I want others to know that you are so utterly undeserving of my friendship. You accused me of being racist, anti-Muslim and anti-American, and then you displayed disrespect and cowardice by running off (so to speak).

I’d tell you to go to Hell, but you don’t believe in Heaven. So I’ll just settle for, “Go fuck yourself.”

Kindest regards,

J.S. Slavin

Where’s My Change, Barack?

OK, folks, I’ve got an issue with Barack Obama, and it’s called “Change”. See, last week I loaned the President two dollars for  a bottle of Pepsi, and he still hasn’t brought me my change. Granted, it’s only 35 cents, but he promised me my “change”. I don’t care if it’s a quarter and a dime, or a quarter and two nickels, or seven nickels, or three dimes and a nickel, or two dimes and three nickels, or one dime and five nickels, or even thirty-five shiny pennies, or even…well, you get the idea. In this economy, when a President promises to bring you your “change”, you have a right to expect it of him. Don’t you?

Now, he better not get the idea in his head that I can afford to wait for his “change”. You can see the gleam in his eyes as surely as I can, and you know what he’s thinking: Rather than give me my “change”, he wants to spread it out and share it with as many people as possible. And you know he’s not going to ask me for permission to do it. As he told Rep. Eric Cantor this past week, “I won.” Never mind that every member of the House of Representatives, Democrat and Republican, also won this past November. The President is keen to remind people that their hope for the future is based solely on his ability to win elections, not bring “change”. Trust me on this.

“There he goes again,” you might say. “Going on about ‘change’.” Well, yeah, people, I am. While President Obama is getting set to release terror suspects into the wild again (did you hear the story about the former Gitmo detainee who is rising in the ranks of al-Qaeda?), and prepares to pull our GIs out of Iraq, it wouldn’t take much at all for him to just give me my change. CNN’s Wolf Blitzer said of the President this past week, after he took the Oath of Office again in the presence of the Chief Justice, “I think the American people had a right to see the president of the United States being sworn in a second time.” And I have a right to my “change”, Barack!

Look, if President Obama never intended to actually deliver me my “change”, he could have been straight with me when he bummed those two $1 bills off of me, went into the convenience store, and then just took off for the White House. I know he’s a busy guy, with lots to do. It’s obviously more important to ensure federal funding for abortions than it is to deliver me my “change”; he had to appoint George Mitchell – once again, it’s Mitchell for this role – to be an envoy to the Middle East. I understand he has an agenda, one that also involves spending $150 million on inaugural balls in the middle of a recession. No, it’s OK, he’s an important man. Lots to do…

But if he can afford to throw $150 million parties in hard economic times, surely he is also able to part ways with the 35 cents that he already frickin’ owes me! Am I wrong? I’m not. OK, then. So, I say it again: I want my goddamn “change”, Mr. President!

Dear President Obama

Dear President Obama,

I never give a politician support on the basis of “good feelings” alone. You must earn my trust, just as you must earn the trust of the more than 50 million people who voted against you this past November. You should know that any trust I might place in you is also contingent on how aware you are of the fact that though you have been granted great powers under the Constitution of the United States of America, you are still, in essence, my employee. You are the employee of all Americans, whether they voted for you or not.

Demonstrate this awareness, in deed and not just in word, and you will go a long way toward earning my tentative support. But it will always be tentative, so long as you allow so many questions to remain about you and where you stand, really stand, on the issues. We can only wait and see if what you do reflects what you said you would do; if you disappoint in the wrong way those who put their faith in you, or surprise in the right way those who have but little hope in you..well, like I said, we must wait and see what happens.

From you, the United States of America do not need a charm offensive. They need a President of action, of decisiveness, of conviction. Americans deserve from you candor, honesty, transparency…and humility. You shouldn’t try to impress us with concerts at the Lincoln Memorial. We didn’t need the spectacle of that train ride to your inauguration. Don’t try and impress us with pomp and circumstance; impress us with results. Don’t parade high poll numbers around…parade low unemployment numbers.

When America is challenged abroad, when our commitment to our founding values of liberty and personal freedom is questioned, don’t vacillate. Stand firm against our avowed enemies, and stand fast alongside our valued, proven and loyal allies. Don’t compromise America’s principles or sacrifice a friend’s security in the interest of photo-op handshakes. By all means, build a legacy of diplomacy if that is your wish, but don’t build it in ignorance of mass graves, gulags, attempted genocide or support for terrorism.

Preserve, protect and defend the Constitution, not for expediency’s or appearance’s sake, but because you swore an Oath upon a Bible, in front of the eyes of the American people and the entire world, to do so. That is your primary job, as both Chief Executive of the Federal Government and Commander-in-Chief of the Armed Forces of the United States: To uphold the Constitution, for in upholding the Constitution, you are upholding the foundations of the very power you and your ideological allies now grasp and can apply.

Your duty, Mr. President, is not to impress Europe, Asia, Australia, Africa or South America with your wit or empathy; whatever the rhetorical musings of journalists and commentators, you are not the President of the World. You are the President of the United States of America. Show us you care about Americans’ opinions – wherever we happen to be – more than the opinions of foreign elitists and intellectuals, and you will earn a significant measure of respect from those who would prefer you were still “just” an Illinois Senator.

President Obama, you have a lot of work ahead of you. You inherit a mess caused, and enabled, by Democrats and Republicans alike. Spare us, please, overuse of the ambiguous, passionate slogan of “Change”; “change” is mandated by the Constitution, in more ways than one. “Change,” as a word and an idea, means different things to different people, on different occasions. Honor that diversity of opinion, respect that it exists, and accept that it won’t go away. Don’t try to silence your critics: Openly and frankly engage them.

And Mr. President? We know you’re ambitious, but don’t start campaigning for re-election already – at least not in same way you began campaigning for the Presidency from the moment you became a Senator. At the next go-around (and until then), let the American people judge you by an established record, rather than by rhetoric. Don’t hide behind a flashy smile. Don’t try to be everything for everyone: Be the American President…with what that means for yourself, and our future, weighing always heavily on your mind.

Good luck. You’re going to need it, and so are we.

Signed,

Jeremy Sidney Slavin,
A Fellow Citizen of The United States of America

*******

Thank You, President Bush

Dear President Bush,

Let’s face it: You made a lot of mistakes as our Nation’s Chief Executive. You’re only human, after all, just like the rest of us. You pissed a lot of people off, at home and abroad, as our military’s Commander-in-Chief (civilians don’t have commanders-in-chief)…which is to be expected, given the love-hate relationship America has had with many countries, especially European countries, ever since the gaining of independence and the founding of the Republic at the end of the 18th century.

Quite frankly, I didn’t support everything you did as President of the United States, but then, that’s normal, too. Dissent and disagreement is good in a democratic-republican system. There were times I sharply disagreed with you. Heck, when you were first elected in 2000, I was disappointed you’d won. I had voted for Gore-Lieberman way back then.

But nowadays, as you prepare to leave office – to the ecstatic cheers and jeers of the Left, and to many sighs of relief on the Right – I’m a little wiser than I was when I voted in my first Presidential election. Since then, I’ve lived for extended periods abroad…not in cushy regions, mind you, but in neighborhoods the Axis of Evil call home…and seen and experienced quite a bit. I’ve seen and observed America both from the inside as a native citizen, and the outside, as an expatriate.

Yes, Mr. President, you were a polarizing force in American politics. Still, many people have forgotten or just plain don’t know that even George Washington aroused great passions on the part of his rivals back in his day…and the threats to the future existence of our young Republic then were far more numerous and potent than the threats our more mature – but undeniably fractured (not your fault) – Republic faces today. You would have been a much better mayor for New Orleans than Ray Nagin.

Many Americans probably aren’t inclined to be thankful for much related to you, except for your imminent departure from the Oval Office. As for myself, while it’s easy to find much to be critical of looking back over the eight years of your Presidency, I feel there’s also a lot the American people should be grateful for, if they aren’t already. The list that follows is hardly comprehensive, but it isn’t meant to be: It’s simply a collection of a few choice, personal observations…a reminder that we’re all, individually, entitled to our own opinions.

Even if that pisses off hardcore liberals who would rather see opposing opinions silenced.

And so….

For having prevented another major terrorist attack against the United States of America at home after September 11, 2001 (that’s over seven years ago, my friends),

Thank you.

For having deposed a tyrant in Iraq, thus enabling Iraqis to eventually have the freedom to throw a shoe at politicians,

Thank you.

For having the courage to act according to your convictions, even when it made you (understatement) incredibly unpopular,

Thank you.

For trying to bring freedom and liberty abroad to those who had little or none,

Thank you.

For speaking your mind, especially since your successor likes keeping the American people in the dark,

Thank you.

For reminding us that Presidents are fallible human beings just like the rest of us, not secular gods,

Thank you.

For your support of Israel,

Thank you.

For your moral clarity, in referring to Iran, Saddam Hussein’s Iraq, and North Korea as an “Axis of Evil,”

Thank you.

For helping to facilitate a smooth transition to a new Administration, even if it is one I am skeptical of at best,

Thank you.

For showing many of your political rivals that you can be far more open-minded about them than they were/are about you,

Thank you.

For your sense of humor in the face of massive ridicule,

Thank you.

For the surge that worked, even if it took Obama a while to admit that it had,

Thank you.

For spending eight years of your life in service to a mostly ungrateful country (no post-9/11 terror attacks at home…remember, people?),

Thank you.

Sincerely,

Jeremy S. Slavin

As For Me and My Future…

Though I am usually loathe to predict the future, I can say with reasonable certainty that it is my intention to serve out only the current year-long contract I am signed to, teaching English in the Republic of Korea. This is by no means a judgment against South Korea in particular, or the Korean people in general. Both have already, since my arrival here at the end of October last, provided me with multitudinous hours of amusement, friendship and education. Rather than being seen as a reflection on Korea, my stated intention to stay only a year here – or actually, now, about 9.5 months more – should be seen within the context of my life’s changed circumstances.

At this juncture in history, uncertainty on my part about the future is more than anything else a hindrance to my freedom of action. The more I leave the future open to the whims of chaos, the greater the chance will be that when the time comes for me to make a decision about what comes next, my options will be severely limited. There is always an element of chance in the future; we possess not full control over our destiny, but merely control over our own part in living it out. And while I have no more influence over “chaos” than any man does over the orbit of Deimos around Mars, I’m not fatalistic about what lies ahead. I’m pretty sure I’ll get what I want for myself.

It’s almost always unwise to take for granted that what you have you will always have; the death of my Grandma Sis at the age of 84 years on January 4, 2009, was a most unwelcome reminder of this fact. Her passing has caused me to realize that of all the things which my many years spent abroad – first in the State of Israel and now in South Korea – have taught me, one thing my travels haven’t taught me is a truly sustainable, verifiable form of “self-reliance”. While it is true that I possess the skills – and the talents – to live comfortably on my own in foreign lands far from home, what I’ve lacked is the will to take responsibility for my mistakes.

Up until the beginning of this year, that is because in the back of my mind, I knew that if I screwed up my Grandma would – in effect – catch me if I fell. I didn’t exactly have a blank check to do what I wanted with myself (and “damn the consequences”), but I certainly wasn’t inclined to much prudence in my conduct – on the international or financial stage – while my Grandma Sis was alive. She didn’t prevent me from taking responsibility for my mistakes; and I did take responsibility, to some degree. What I failed to do, and ultimately failed myself by not doing, was learn from many of my blunders. I saw my Grandma, essentially, as a shield against my own stupidity.

Now, or at least until someone else takes up the mantle of common sense as applied to my life when I willingly dispense with it, I’m on my own. Not because my Dad isn’t there for me, but because his wisdom and aid is often of a different sort. A great weight has settled upon my shoulders, though I doubt it would be correct to refer to it as a burden, because…well, to be honest, because it doesn’t feel like a burden. I’ve been known for rhetorical flourishes that tend more toward bombast than honesty, but these days, it’s no embellishment on my part to state that this weight represents more than anything else an opportunity.

An opportunity for what, you ask? To – and I’m not at all being facetious, here – make a break with past forms of stupidity, and pursue all new varieties of it. A “novus ordo seclorum” (a “new order of the ages”) having dawned in my life when I least expected it, I now have not only the chance but the obligation to take the fork in the road I’m now presented with, if I really and truly want for my life any of the things I’ve told myself I want. The weight I feel is the knowledge that now, the real game has begun. Of course, the game has always been on, but up until now I’ve been like a kid at a bowling alley making use of the bumper lanes. That’s no longer practical.

So how or where does preemptively declaring that “my career as a teacher in Korea will definitely end when my contract expires” fit in? At first glance, it would seem that this is a case of, “Oh, here we go again, Jeremy.” But I beg to differ: Already I’ve been asked, by fellow Westerners who have been teaching in South Korea many months longer than I have, what my plans are following the end of my contract. I rarely have a direct answer for them, beyond vague affirmations of how wonderful is the experience I’m having here, and how tempting it is to want to stay on a second year. Think about it: This is a decision I’ve needed to make ever since I arrived!

When we enter college, we all have a basic idea of when we want to graduate. When we go on a trip, we usually know what day we’re leaving and what day we’re set to return. There might be bumps in the road – or delays, or extensions – but, hey, it happens. Baseball games have nine innings, college basketball games have two halves, football games have four quarters, NBA games have four quarters, hockey games have three periods, and soccer games have two halves (45 mins each). There are extra innings and overtime and added time, etc., but at least when you attend or watch a sporting event you have a reasonable idea of when it might end, right?

This makes planning or thinking about what comes afterward a little bit easier, doesn’t it? In fact, it makes planning and thinking about the future easier all around, whether we’re talking about bathroom breaks, snack breaks…or side trips to surrounding countries.

Let’s not forget, by the way, that I always reserve the right to change my mind. This should not, however, be seen by me or anyone else as a reason to allow questions I have the ability to answer now about my future – given the information currently at my disposal – to remain unanswered. I’m not pulling an Obama, or being Palestinian; I’m not refusing to take a position because I’m afraid to show my true colors, and I’m not saying one thing in one language and then something completely contradictory in another language. My future is, to quote a lyric from a popular Broadway musical, “unlimited” – or, at least, it is only limited by what I do or don’t decide to do.

In the blog entry which preceded this one, I described my Grandma Sis as being “like a lighthouse, shining a guiding light for me into a harbor, whether I wanted her to or not, whether I wanted to go there or not.” Like it or not – and I most certainly do not like it – that “lighthouse” has gone the way of the ancient Pharos of Alexandria. All that I am left with now, besides advisers who gave me life, is a personal GPS that seems both unequal to the task it has been presented with, and yet also shows signs of being eminently capable of keeping me from wrecking upon the many shoals and other hazards which daily await all those who sail life’s waters.

You know how GPS works, right? There are receivers on the ground…and a constellation of satellites up in the Heavens. They work in concert, so that missiles can find their targets and people can find their way. And wouldn’t you know it? A new satellite was launched just last week…

I Miss My Grandma

When I wrote these words on December 31, 2008, for my blog entry “By December’s End”, I was in Daegu, South Korea, thinking at that moment about my Grandma Sis, who had suddenly taken seriously ill back in Tucson, Arizona. I had a sense of foreboding, an abiding worry, and I wrote what I wrote below as much to reassure myself as to stoke an ever-present flame of optimism:

“Seeing as how things generally work themselves out for the better, like this time last year, I’m pretty confident that whatever lies in store for me in the year ahead will give me more in value and memories than it takes away.”

September 2008: Grandma Sis and I in Flagstaff, Arizona, USA

At the time, I did it as a defense mechanism, hoping against hope that I wouldn’t need such reassurance down the line. But even then I knew…or at least I think I knew…that I was kidding myself. Grandma Sis was in a bad way, a seriously bad way, but even if I’d been back home in the southwestern U.S.A., instead of teaching English on the Korean Peninsula, there wasn’t much besides being there at the end that I could have done about it. Fat lot of comfort that brings.

Grandma’s situation had been up and down – it was almost like a sporting match between two top rival teams, or watching a war: Things are looking really bad, then they’re really looking up, and then…the moment of truth. Or, the moment of being hit with the truth that the result is the one you feared the most…in this case, that one of the primary influences on who you are as a person today is no longer with you in this world.

My Grandma and I at Memphis, Egypt in December 2005

For me, that moment came while on the phone with my Dad early Monday morning Korea-time on what was for me January 5, 2009. For all intents and purposes, Grandma had – it was still January 4 back in Tucson – already departed; my family present at the hospital were merely waiting for her to draw her final breath. Dad and I were discussing making travel arrangements to get me home for the funeral, and suddenly he interrupted me: “Jeremy…Jeremy…she’s gone. Grandma’s gone,” he choked out. Just like that, she was gone.

Needless to say, as I stared at my laptop sitting on the desk in my apartment’s kitchen, the emotional dam burst as my Dad out of necessity quickly hung up the phone, mumbling that we’d talk again in a bit. I couldn’t control it, didn’t want to control it. Tears slid down my face and I slid out of my chair and collapsed on the floor, sobbing a monsoon (and cussing up a storm, I might add). I’ve never felt worse at any other moment in my life.

Dad, Grandma and I at Ben Gurion Airport in Tel Aviv, Israel in November 2005

What was my Grandma Sis to me? My Mom actually put it best when she said, speaking of my Grandma, that “She kept you grounded.” My Grandma Sis put as much love and care and attention into raising me – well, trying to – to be a good, responsible mensch as my parents did. Maybe a bit more, proportionally, because for some inexplicable reason, her praise often meant more to me than that which came from anyone else, and her criticisms stung something fierce. I won’t even go in to how her nagging affected me…

Well, okay, I will – she was like a lighthouse, shining a guiding light for me into a harbor, whether I wanted her to or not, whether I wanted to go there or not.

Like the Queen of England’s political role, Grandma generally stood above the fray in my disputes with my parents; oh, in sentiment I know she agreed with them most of the time and was probably right to do so. I’ve done things, made reckless decisions, angered her deeply. But even so, I was never without the sense that what she offered me and would always offer me was unconditional love. Whether I was living in Arizona, Israel, New York, or now, in South Korea, I knew I could count on that.

November 2005: Myself, Grandma Sis and Montie in Jerusalem, Israel

And now? I’m lost. There’s no other way to describe it, besides feeling a palpable sense of loneliness, an emptiness…a void.

I’m only a Grandson; I can’t imagine the pain my Dad and uncles are feeling. I can’t speak for my cousins. I can’t describe how it feels to be one of Grandma’s siblings, nieces or nephews today. All I know is what I know; all I feel is what I feel. Loss. Emptiness. Loneliness. Confusion. How I wish for that lighthouse with its guiding light to still be standing there, complaining about her stomach troubles, admonishing me to visit the dentist, telling me from over 6,000 miles away how much she misses me and loves me.

Several times I’ve been reminded, in the last day or so, by those from all four corners of the Earth I’m lucky to call my friends, “At least she’s in a better place.” Well yeah, true, but between you and me, I’m kind of annoyed that that place isn’t here, with us right now. I respect God’s wisdom in His taking her when He did, or at least I say I do (He knows the truth), but all the same…that doesn’t, can’t, change the fact that I miss my Grandma Sis more than I’ll ever be able to say in any blog or speech or…whatever.

Grandma and Grandson

Spare Me the World’s Crocodile Tears

As has been the case for years now, men, women and children are being slaughtered in Sudan at the hands of guerrillas working in collusion with Khartoum. And yet, rather than take to the streets to force action, the world reserves its righteous anger for when Israel launches military operations against a terrorist organization ruling over a small strip of land, a terrorist organization that provoked a war not simply by launching rockets after a cease-fire ended, but launching them while a cease-fire was on. Why?

When Muslim terrorists kill innocent Iraqis out shopping or praying, simply because those Iraqis are one sort of Muslim or another, you don’t see mass protests out on the streets of the world, condemning those who carry out such heinous acts (and if you do, you see the blame shifted from the terrorists to the U.S. military presence). But when Israeli bombs kill Palestinian bomb makers in Gaza City, why…just look at worldwide reactions!

Last November, Islamist terrorists committed numerous acts of politically- and religiously-motivated murder in Mumbai, India, and yet…where in Europe were the mass protests against the ideology which fuels such heinous Islamist operations? Jews, in that attack, were in particular singled out for slaughter. Where was the world’s righteous anger then? Simmering? Waiting for the next time Israel took to the skies to defend Jews?

Do those gathering in the streets and protesting Israel’s military offensive actually think they are doing so on behalf of the Palestinian people? I guess they don’t mind that the Hamas organization, since taking over the Gaza Strip, has condemned that territory’s residents – often, with the populace’s support – to incessant poverty, isolation, and…oh yeah!…war! I guess protesters’ inability to turn a blind eye to Israeli missiles translates into an ability for them to do so with regards to Palestinian rockets.

If the international community truly cares for the future of the Palestinian people, and is truly interested in achieving peace between Israelis and the rest of the Arab world, then that international community should support Israel’s efforts to bring a stop to the Hamas rockets which are incessantly striking Israeli territory and which are being launched from Arab-controlled land. I’m not just talking about Governments; I’m talking about ordinary people, who claim to be so upset with Israel but aren’t at all upset with Hamas.

There’s no moral equivalency, whatsoever, between the democratically-elected government of Israel and the Hamas rulers of the Gaza Strip, who seized by force, undemocratically, the relatively small plot of land they now control. Even when Hamas rockets don’t kill Israelis, the psychological damage to those targeted by them is as great as that suffered by Palestinians dealing with Israeli air strikes brought on Gaza by the rejectionist hate-mongerers of Hamas.

No Government, or no democratic Government at least, should be expected to indefinitely countenance incessant acts of war committed against its territory and people. And yet, such is what most of the world expects of the State of Israel, even as the UN recognizes the freedom of other nations to violate international borders in the pursuit of pirates. Israel held back on this operation, Cast Lead, for a long time. A long, long time.

This is why, right now, I’m tired of hearing the world screech in support of “Palestine”. Israel might not, by appearances, be the most pro-Palestinian nation in the world. But then, Israel is the only country seeking to free the Palestinians from their tendency to never miss an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Israel’s war on Hamas should be the Palestinians’ own; Jews are dying while fighting Palestinians so that Palestinians might be free. Oh, the irony!

When Hamas violated Israel’s borders in 2006 and kidnapped Cpl. Gilad Schalit, the world said nothing. Hamas has both participated in and permitted the launching of rockets at Israel over the years, from territory it long sought to control and now does, and yet the protests have been…almost, but not quite, non-existent. Hamas has done nothing but provoke war and bring bloodshed upon the Palestinian people, and yet it is for Israel that – when it takes to the skies and streets of Gaza in defense of Jews – the world reserves its greatest ire.

Spare me.

By December’s End

On January 1, 2004, I was living in my native Tucson, Arizona, U.S.A., one semester away from graduating from the University of Arizona. By December 31, 2004, I was a college graduate living in an apartment in Jerusalem, Israel. I knew 2004 had become 2005 when, as I wandered alone around the Old City, numerous church bells began ringing, the sound echoing off the walls, as celebratory fireworks were set off in nearby Arab villages.

2005? Except for a family trip to Egypt…that year was spent entirely in Israel. January to December.

And so obviously, I began January 2006 still in Jerusalem; by December 2006, though, I was living in an apartment in Flushing, Queens, New York City.

When 2007 arrived, I was partying in Times Square, NYC. Twelve months later, I was back in Arizona.

New Year’s Day, 2008, found me celebrating in my native Tucson. I had no clue that by December’s end, 2008, I would be in Daegu, South Korea.

Life is funny like that.

Not much of what I’ve done, or what I’ve seen, these past few years has been by accident. By that, I don’t mean to say I’ve orchestrated the entire thing. But I do mean to say that more often than not, when extraordinary opportunities have presented themselves to me, I’ve done what I could to make them my own. And I think I’m better off for doing so.

Winston Churchill said, “History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.” Sir Winston is one of my heroes, but…have I always been an author of, or at least an active and cognizant contributor to, my own destiny? No. Far too often, I’ve set myself up or seen myself as the victim, wondering, “Why does this always happen to me?” So, I know that history, at times, may not be very kind to me, because there have been a number of times when I’ve consciously abdicated responsibility for my own condition.

But overall?

I like to think I’m pretty lucky, that by December’s end, 2008, I can say that since graduating college in 2004 I’ve seen the pyramids of Egypt; heard a suicide bombing in Tel Aviv; experienced a Mideast war; wandered alone the streets of Vienna; been thrown out on the streets of Paris by an angry lover; attended a million-person party in New York City; had my plane met by an Israeli prime minister; ridden on the back of a scooter on a busy Asian street, and I have seen “Fiddler on the Roof” performed entirely in Korean.

Six years ago, it never crossed my mind that by December’s end 2008, I would be able to say that I’m a man who’s been on a bus the NYPD raided, with guns raised, in search of the guy sitting across from me. When I graduated from the University of Arizona five and a half years ago, I knew only that by December’s end, 2004, I’d have Israeli citizenship and be living in Jerusalem. I couldn’t imagine the almost staggering number of new friends from all four corners of the Earth that I’d have by December’s end, 2008.

All in all, by December’s end, 2008, I’m not shy in being able to say that I think I’ve done pretty well for myself these past few years, by both accident and by design. They haven’t all been days of wine and roses, of course, but that’s life: “Strikes and gutters, ups and downs.” By December’s end, 2008, I have a lot to be grateful for, and if you’re tallying up your personal balance sheet and, like me, find more “Thanks” than “Regrets”, I hope you’re left with the same impression of your future that I have for mine.

What will I be able to say I’ve seen and experienced…who will I have met and befriended…what will I have accomplished, by December’s end, 2009?

Right now, God only knows. I didn’t make any New Year’s Resolutions last year, and I don’t plan on making any this year, either (what, after all, are New Year’s Resolutions but promises to ourselves that we make and break all too easily?). This means the future’s wide open, with no constraints on expectations. Seeing as how things generally work themselves out for the better, like this time last year, I’m pretty confident that whatever lies in store for me in the year ahead will give me more in value and memories than it takes away.

So, as 2008 bows out – if you’re in Korea as I am, you can take that literally – and 2009 introduces itself, I’d like to take this opportunity to wish you, one and all, a Happy New Year!

“We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine ;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne…

For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we’ll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne…

…And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give us a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.“

– Robert Burns